promo


Midsummer 2010 - It's Her Story

Dear Friends

Recently a friend was telling me about some 'interesting' choices her grown daughter had made. Instead of a 'WHAT was she thinking???!' judgment fest, our conversation took a 360-degree turn when this grace and wisdom came from my friend's lips: 'Oh, well; it's her story!'

As a seasoned parent, this concept was not new to me, yet I felt a renewed sense of clarity when my friend worded it this way. I first experienced this revelation 18 years ago when my daughter Kathryn was born with profound disabilities. I wondered if I would ever get over the grief, but Kathryn's father pointed out that I was not disabled. Without underestimating the role of parenthood, he reminded me that I still had my own life -- separate from our daughter's.

When our babies depend upon us for their very survival, the thought of them as separate entities is so difficult to grasp. We may even have visions of them growing up to be little extensions of ourselves. And who hasn't at one time or another felt that ego-driven delight when our child appears to be a 'chip off the old block'? The truth remains, however, that each child comes into the world the author of his or her own story, separate from us.

When my older daughter, Ann, who is now a mother herself, recently told me about one of her 'interesting' choices, prefacing her announcement with, 'Mom, tomorrow I’m doing something you’re not going to be happy with,' do you think I thought, 'Oh well; it's her story'? Ha! Within seconds, I was spewing out the 'Mark my words, Ann . . .' spiel. Sigh.

I flash back to when I was a young mom, and we'd spend summer vacations with the girls' great grandmother. This woman was a pediatric nurse in the 1920s, so you can imagine some of our conversations: 'You're going to SPOIL her if you're always holding her!' 'You're only feeding her breast milk? Rice cereal is what she needs!'

Maybe George Orwell was right when he said, 'Each generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it.' But how does this benefit us really? As mothers, must we continue to pass on this torch of 'My way or the highway'? Is being 'right' worth the toll it takes on our relationships?

This summer, whether you're a mother or a daughter, a father or a son (or combination thereof!), let's not be so quick to point fingers of judgment at each other. The next time we feel ourselves bristling with those 'How could she?!' feelings, let's replace them with the realization that 'It's her story' as we do our best to live our own with grace, wisdom, and gratitude for family.


On Children
by Kahil Gibran

'They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls.'





Other Issues:
From our archives -- Offering Wisdom to New Moms

From our archives -- The Best Good Deed

From our archives -- Embracing the Wonder of Children

From our archives -- Encouraging children to live their bliss

From our archives

Holiday 2013 -- Embracing the World of Wonder

Winter 2013 -- Recipe for a Happy Thanksgiving

Fall 2013 -- Finding Beauty in the Everyday Tasks

Late Summer 2013 - Taking Our Own Advice

Midsummer 2013 -- Appreciating Nature's Bounty

Early Summer 2013 -- Being Prepared

Late Spring 2013 -- Having Realistic Expectations

Spring 2013 -- Offering Mothering Wisdom

Early Spring 2013 -- Being True to Our Nature

Holiday 2012 -- Appreciate the Goodness

Winter 2012 -- Enjoying the Anticipation

Early Fall 2012 -- Looking Back to Appreciate Now

Summer 2012 -- Chinaberry's History & Future

Early Summer 2012 -- My Dad

Late Spring 2012 -- My Satisfying Yet Untraditional Upbringing

Spring 2012 - The Consequences of Our Actions

Early Spring 2012 - Learning From Experience

Winter 2011 - The Small Moments

Holiday 2011 - The Good Deed

Fall 2011 - Gratitude

Late Summer 2011 - Overwhelmed? You're Not Alone.

Midsummer 2011 - Louise's Gallery

Early Summer 2011 - Flying 101: Giving Them Wings

Late Spring 2011 - Letting Them Fail

Spring 2011

Early Spring 2011 - Encouraging Your Kids to Live Their Bliss

Fall 2010 - The Chinaberry Commitment

Late Summer 2010 - In the Blink of an Eye

Early Summer 2010 - Weathering the Storm

Gifts From My Mother

Spring 2010 - Enjoy the Ride

Early Spring 2010 - Enter the Land of Dirt and Bugs

Winter 2009 - Less Cleaning, More Meaning

Holiday 2009 - Finding Gratitude Every Day

Fall 2009 - Teaching Children Through Our Actions

Late Summer 2009 - A Spoonful of Sugar

Midsummer 2009 - Give Your Kids the Gift of Boredom this Summer

Early Summer 2009 - Who's the Kid and Who's the Parent?

Late Spring 2009 - Making Connections

Spring 2009 - Fully Engaging With Our Children

Early Spring 2009 - Building Character While Playing Characters

Winter 2008 - Never Underestimate the Value of a Good Hello

Holiday 2008

Fall 2008

Late Summer 2008

Midsummer 2008

Early Summer 2008

Late Spring 2008

Spring 2008

Early Spring 2008

Winter 2007

Holiday 2007

Fall 2007

Late Summer 2007

Midsummer 2007

Early Summer 2007

Late Spring 2007

Spring 2007

Early Spring 2007

Winter 2006

Holiday 2006

Fall 2006

Late Summer 2006

Midsummer 2006

Early Summer 2006

Late Spring 2006

Spring 2006

Early Spring 2006




order securelysatisfaction guaranteed